Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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