playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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