They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
