in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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