Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
