Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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