I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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