Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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