is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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