I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
