This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize