hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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