whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
