If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I believe in your delicious
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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