trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
