I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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