Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
