i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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