well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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