Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
