I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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