if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
