After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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