Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
So. Much. Porn.
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