it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
