she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
