addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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