I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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