You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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