Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize