I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
