This is not my ceiling
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
