So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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