Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
