Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Randomize
