2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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