Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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