Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize