Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
