If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
