I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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