I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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