The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
