there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
