come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
