surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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