You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
