I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
