i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
