Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
