So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
