I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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