return my video game
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
