Your face is a jimmy john
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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