who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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