Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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