Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
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