i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
