Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
