My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
