doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize