The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
