Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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